Rainbow After The Storm: An Update ūüĆą

baby infertility loss miracle miracle baby miscarriage preemie premature prematurity awareness Rainbow rainbow baby sahm wahm working mom

Our sweet baby in the first trimester 

Some of you remember that when our last baby was born, he arrived 6 weeks premature. This came without warning to our family and was definitely one of the toughest times we've ever been through. That storm led me to the inspiration + creation of my Prematurity Awareness Collection and a desire to give back to March of Dimes every month with each sale from that specific line. Many of you have also followed along in my journey of fertility struggles, loss + miscarriage, and now a new chapter of happiness with my #rainbowbabyonboard (<--you can type that hashtag in the search field on IG to read more on that specific story). After our loss which was followed immediately by a surgery, horrible grief, continued illness, and a couple months of invasive testing, my doctor finally found out I had acquired three blood clotting disorders. These acquired disorders happened quite recently which is what caused my miscarriage at almost 3 months along and very unexpectedly last summer. It felt great to have an answer, but with that came more emotions and sadness at the same time. I also knew that if I were to get pregnant, I would need to go on Clomid yet again.... and now if it worked, I'd have to endure injections daily/weekly.

Excitement + nervousness seeing this word again!

Late last fall we found out it DID work, and I was thrilled. Actually, "thrilled" doesn't even cover the excitement I felt ...hence doing an uncoordinated ninja kick across the living room after getting a positive test ūüėā. I felt like this was the right timing, things were falling into place, and all of my pain and heartbreak was not for nothing. I knew it might get complicated, but this little baby was already a miracle to begin with. I'd do anything to help him/her along. And so at 5-6 weeks, I began my new 'normal' routine. 2 injections daily of a¬†blood clotting reduction medication and after the first trimester, I also started a 1x weekly injection of progesterone at my doctor's office. This equals out to¬†15 shots a week! I've been on close monitoring weekly with my doc (feels like I live there sometimes)..... between checking how fast my blood is clotting, preterm prevention medication, development check ups, and more. I have good and bad days as far as my health. I've had to steadily increase my dosage of each Heparin injection every 2 weeks because my blood is still clotting too fast. I've had terrible tightening in my stomach, chronic bladder infections, and I also am in bad shape after the weekly progesterone shot - as it's an oil based injection that my skin seems to be overly sensitive to, and this shot goes into your muscle which hurts more than injecting into fat. I keep going because I know I cannot quit any of it- our little ūüĆą ¬†baby needs as much time in there to cook and grow strong.

My new normal.  Took a 2 day trip and had to pack up! 
Makeup bag: Sweetees

I (along with a few other incredible family members who help me run this business) work really hard on what you see here in my shop, Curly Q's Counter. On days my kids are in preschool, I'm busy hand making details into our distressed denim, designing shirts, shipping your goodies, and so much more. Last Wednesday (5/3/17) was one of those days, and my husband just happened to be out of town for work during this time too. After I grabbed the boys that evening, we went out dinner with my mama. I came home and got everyone off to bed, and had planned to do a few more things for work. I was feeling super uncomfortable (stomach tightening has become normal lately), so I decided to lie down and try to sleep for the night. The last thing I texted my husband before my head hit the pillow was, 'I hope I don't have this baby tonight!' - making light of my constant complaining of not feeling the best.

At 1 am on Thursday morning (at 27w6d), I woke up violently sick and uncontrollably throwing up. After an hour or so of things not looking better, I called my mom & sisters who live close by. I knew I was going to need help with my boys since we were home alone without Daddy, and probably a ride to the hospital (as I was now feeling intense contractions and the dreaded back labor was setting in). Because it was so late (early in the AM), I figured it would still be a struggle to reach my mom and youngest sister who live the closest to us, and my mom was having trouble with her phone turning on as it turns out the day before. I was starting to panic a bit. Thankfully I was able to get ahold of one of my sisters, who drove all the way to my mom's and woke up everyone else up to let them know what was going on. They were here less than 10 min later, which I was so grateful for. I could have easily called 911 and gotten a ride to the hospital but I needed to secure some arrangements for my boys and couldn't leave them without that. Family is everything and the way mine pulled together for me that morning will never be forgotten.

By the time we got checked in, my contractions were being tracked - rolling in every 2 minutes. I was in intense labor and extreme pain. They wanted to do testing to see if the baby had a higher chance of being born that morning, which thankfully came back negative. I was given a shot of terbutaline to slow and stop the contractions, as well as fluids, an antibiotic, & pain medication. They found out I did have another severe bladder infection which caused the contractions to begin with. Basically, the uterus wants to contract to push the infection away from the baby, but since I have already had contractions prior to this incident, a 34 weeker at home, and am currently on weekly medication to prevent all of this in the first place - it was a little more serious now.

I was able to leave once my contractions slowed down to 8 minutes apart and was told they would subside completely. I'm taking another medication 3x a day now to prevent them and also another to clear my infection (hopefully for good this time). I've spent the last 6 days recovering and trying to do as little as possible in order to heal up and not put more stress on myself and our baby. I'm so thankful for my own amazing family - I know my sweet husband was super upset and stressed to not be able to be there as everything was crumbling. He rushed home the next day and has been helping me around the clock. He never gives up on me and is the ultimate protector and provider every single day. I don't even know how he does it all, and he continues to do it with a smile. My own mama is the real #momboss / MVP around these parts! She's helped me non stop with physical care to get better, helping with our boys, and fulfilling your orders while I've been taking a small hiatus from IG + the shop.

Last month at 6 months! 

With sharing this story, you might be wondering "what does that mean about my order?", "is your turn around changing?" and "are you guys closing?" No need to worry - not only are the mass majority of our tees RTS (which has been my plan and preparation since before even getting pregnant last spring), but I also have awesome help with my shirt production, denim production, shipping, social media correspondence, and more. Turn around is not changing, we are on track and actually shipping most items way ahead of the quoted time. We are also NOT closing or taking a maternity leave. With the above help I mentioned, we are in a good spot. All of this said, my goal is to not be moving at as fast of a pace as I have been in order to not overdo it and let this baby stay in. I hit 28 weeks last Friday and my doctor wants to see me get to at least 34. I'm going to keep doing what I can to make that happen.

Okay finally! We've made it to the end of the post, thank you guys for getting all of the way here (if you still are)! I wanted to share another photo of our newest Preemie Awareness product we launched late last month. After last week, the message is even more special to me and I can't wait to see my fighter baby in it. You can get yours here, and we do plan on stocking them in toddler sizes next month! Thank you for sticking around and all of the love and support you guys continually show to my brand. It wouldn't be possible without you! I hope this post (my first blog post ever!)¬†was also informative and maybe even relatable during a tough time that you got through¬†with the help of family/friends. Go squeeze these people¬†extra tight!! So many of us struggle with different things when it comes to bringing a child into the world: this is just a glimpse of my story. You are strong and whatever you may be going through, just know 'hey, I GOT THIS!' too. ūüĆą
Turban: Razzle Wraps
Moccs: Jaxhoo

Paci: Natursutten
Paci Clip: Ryan and Rose
Onesie: Curly Q's Counter

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  • Cassidy on

    I was reading that and found myself crying! Your strength, determination, and utter badass-ness is beyond measure! You are such an inspiration to all mothers. Girl we have grown up together and we knew what each other were made of but you continue to go and grow, inspire and amaze everyone everyday! I’m honestly proud to have the privilege to say “hey I know that chick and she’s amazing!” I love sharing and promoting your store to all my other mama friends because it’s all made from the heart by a badass mama just like them! Keep up the hard work girl you’re a straight up rockstar! Can’t wait to meet this little lady and see how much she looks like you! (Time to pull out those embarrassing elementary School photos!) ;) Xoxox

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